Lost in the water
Of wanting to do well
Why bother trying
When surely I’ll flail
Lost in the water
Opening my eyes I can see that the room is cast in shadows. The light trying to push through the curtains fails and I am left to wallow in semi-darkness. I wiggle my legs under the blanket. Thinking it’s a game Artie pounces and attacks the duvet covers, intent on killing it. She turns her fluffy face to me, meowing, she runs out to the lounge room prompting me to feed her. She’s such a greedy little fur-baby. I roll over and feign sleep.
Christmas is a day of food, family and fun. It is just a day though. Any other day could be celebrated in the same way.
It’s Christmas Day and I’m crying. I can’t remember the last time I cried on Christmas, actually no, that’s a lie. I can remember being told off when I was ten years old after inquiring whether the beach towel Grandad had gotten me had been purchased at The Warehouse. Looking back I realise how this could have been construed, like I was calling him cheap or something.
When you live far away from your friends’ stagnation takes place. They only ever see you for who you were, not who you have become.
“You look so good,” Lizzy says.
“So do you!” I lie. Was she lying when she said it to me?
“How is everything going?”
“Oh you know,” there’s no way to answer the question appropriately that isn’t “good, you?”
“Yeah great, how’s Jordan?”
When I was a child I used to wish I were Pippi Long-stockings, now I realise she would probably wish she were I.
I tighten my grip on the rail, the wind whips my hair about my face and the sea spray flutters onto my cheeks. I feel alive. The salt in the air settles on my lips and I can taste it. I take in deep breaths and smile out at the horizon, I wish I could do this more often. We slow down as Dad’s GPS tells us we’re close to where he left them. We putter about the green, orange and black bobbles that disappear under the swell.
“Alright, when we get close throw out the grappling hook and pull the buoy into the boat.” Dad’s voice roars over the motor.
Some people say life is all about the journey, not the destination.
“I-I-I-I-I-I, I’m hooked on a feeling. I’m high on believing. That you’re in love with me!”
I jump awake and fish around my pockets for my phone that’s blaring Hooked on a Feeling for the whole bus to hear.
“Hey, why haven’t you text me back?”
“I just woke up.”
“Shit. She just woke up. You going to try get the bus tomorrow then?”
“No, no. I’m on the bus. I just fell asleep, I’m a bit hung over.”
- What is your name?
Stevie Renee Greeks
- What are your nicknames?
Cheeky (by my mum), Rangi (by my dad) and friends sometimes call me Steve.
- When is your birthday?
20th of April. Apparently the same day as Hitler, just a hundred years or so later.