It’s hard to remember when I first felt this urge, to fill the emptiness in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t lack for anything at the farm. We had plenty of food, all the fruit and vegetables you could possibly eat, but it never satisfied me. I was very rarely alone yet loneliness had always followed me down the white corridors into the crowded dining hall. I wanted to reach out and touch someone, but that wasn’t allowed. In the shower when I had some privacy, I would touch myself the way that Max touches me now, pretending that it was someone else, pretending that they cared about me. Not in the way that Sweetie and Pip cared.
Love. That was what I craved. I wanted someone who was willing to die for me, and it had been Max the whole time. He risked everything helping me get away from the farm. I risked nothing. If I had stayed, I would have been slaughtered eventually and if they had caught me I would have been butchered straight away. I could have told Pip and Sweetie what I knew before I went, but I didn’t want anything to get in the way of my freedom.
My first day in my new world I woke up ravenous. I wanted to see everything, touch everything and go everywhere, so Max showed me his city. I followed him around like I was in a dream, everything glowed. We walked through the streets holding hands while he showed me this new world. We were sitting in a park, eating gelato and soaking in the city, when an advertisement danced across a billboard. A beautiful naked woman lying on her side, looking over her shoulder smiling at us. The meat you love to eat. Running down her spine.
I felt guilty watching her but at the same time I had to confess that it was hard to take my eyes off her. I wanted to be her.
I wanted to touch her, to taste her.
That night I sat at the dining table while Max cooked dinner. He paused in the doorway holding two plates, he looked nervous.
“I want to try something new.” I smiled thinking about how he had said the same thing this morning when he wanted me to straddle him. I was wet just thinking about it.
“I cooked you a steak. I want you to try it.” The smile slid from my face in shock. “Cece it’s different, it’s just grown in a lab somewhere.”
“I can’t.” He placed it down in front of me and I began to salivate immediately. It smelled delicious. I licked my lips in spite of myself and looked up at him, he nodded encouragingly.
“I bet you’ll like it if you just give it a try.”
“But how can I like it? I can’t eat this, it could have been me on this plate.” I pushed the plate away. Max’s eyes flickered in irritation before he pushed it back in front of me. He took the knife and fork and started to slice the steak into mouth-sized morsels, the knife melted through the steak silently but I could see the muscles tear open with every cut. He lifted one to his lips and put it in his mouth, he chewed slowly watching me. I watched him, my curiosity getting the better of me. It smelt so good.
“This is the way things are. This is what you’ve signed up for.”
He picked up another piece of steak on his fork and held it to my mouth. I felt a warm drop of blood run down my chin. I hesitated before leaning in and taking a bite. It tasted as good as it smelt. As it ran down my throat I already wanted another piece. I took the fork from him and started eating piece by piece. Each bite made me want more. He watched me as I ate and I watched him watch me, my nipples stiffening under the fabric of my dress. I licked my lips savouring the flavour, a slight moan escaping my lips before I could catch it.
Max watched me as he got on his knees. I spread my legs as his fingers traced my calves, relaxing into his touch. He pushed my new dress up around my waist, kissing my thighs along the way. He paused for a moment and nuzzled his face between my thighs, breathing in my scent. My hand slid down to his hair and I held him there, I wanted him to taste me. I pulled my underwear to the side, slowly sliding a finger in. He grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand toward him and as I took another bite of steak he took my finger in his mouth. His hunger matched my own, as I savoured the flavour of the steak he buried his head between my thighs. I leant back in the chair and closed my eyes as waves of pleasure enveloped me until I couldn’t take it anymore. I pushed him back and slid onto my knees in front of him. Pulling his shirt over his head, I was overcome with the urge to bite him. His chest and shoulders were red from my nips, the flavour of the steak still on my lips. I placed my knees on either side of his waist, the floor was cold under our hot, bucking bodies. I wanted to share the flavour. I licked his lips and he sucked on mine, combining my sweetness with the saltiness of the steak. It satisfied a hunger I had never known I had.